Anata
by The Baka Karasu
Summary: The government is investigating the murder of an official, at the hands of a Sumeragi. Seishirou Sakurazuka is assigned to the case and charged to find out whether the Sumeragi has committed the murder and to kill him. Guess the Sumeragi suspected.
1. Calm Before The Storm

((Author's Notes - You want to know what 'Anata saseru kanjiru' means? -Evil smirk- Aha. That would give it all away. It's only a rough translation, but go find some Gaijin who knows enough Japanese to translate it for you, if you're that desperate. Random introspection fic... don't even ask where. I pulled this out of my ass at about midnight...))

Disclaimer - I don't own Seishirou or Subaru. Subaru is owned by Seishirou, Seishirou is owned by the tree, and they are all owned by CLAMP. But one day.... one day they will all be mine...

Only You.

"...A...Anata..."

"...Hmm?"

"...A-... anata saseru... kanjiru..."

The dark-haired man raised his head, to where his lover was curled up in his arms. The Sumeragi could be, he decided, quite cute when he wanted to be. Of course, the Sumeragi was always cute.

But then, Seishirou could be cute if he really wanted to. Like now, for instance. The Sakurazukamori trailed his fingertips down the other man's back, very lightly, making the Sumeragi shiver pleasantly in his arms.

"...Shouin. Ai shiteru, Subaru-kun."

Subaru froze, pressing into Seishirou's grip, making the Sakurazukamori shake in anticipation. It was this sensation; the feel of lavender-scented hair, and the feel of light fingertips around his shoulders. This was why Seishirou played such a heartbreaking game. It was all for these moments. But now, he would have to leave. After all, if he stayed any longer, the Sumeragi would know it was not a dream. He was already taking it too far, as it was.

Subaru and Seishirou were curled up, in Subaru's bed, in the Sumeragi's house. Seishirou had taken great pains to keep the Sumeragi in a dreamlike state. Not too sleepy to feel, and to hear, and to talk, but dreamy enough to assure him that it was all a dream.

Now, time to leave. Drawing away from the warmth of the Sumeragi's body, he felt his heart give a slight tug as he heard the slight whimper of regret from Subaru.

"...D-don't... please don't leave me..."

Seishirou turned, planting a soft kiss on the Sumeragi's forehead and smoothing his head. Already, the spell was wearing off slightly, and he didn't have much time.

"...I have to, Subaru-kun. I'm sorry. I'll see you again. I'll visit you, in your dreams. So, don't be sad, Subaru-kun."

He leant closer again, pressing his lips onto him, onto Subaru's cheek this time, kissing him softly. Love you, and leave you. Wasn't that how the saying went? Well, something like that.

Subaru whimpered. He didn't want him to go. Never... He never wanted these dreams to end. For, that was what he knew them as: dreams. Nothing more.

"...If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. Please... Seishirou-san...."

Seishirou laughed softly, "...You must stop using the honorific, Subaru-kun. We're past that now, ne?"

Subaru felt himself sob, choked, "...Old habits... die hard."

Raising a hand, Seishirou pushed the boy's hair back very gently, running a thumb over his forehead. The Sakurazukamori had to be going now, he had to. The spell he cast over the Sumeragi was already fading, and if he wasn't careful, Subaru would 'wake up'.

Pulling away, he relinquished a final kiss, onto the Sumeragi's cheek. He hadn't ever kissed his lips. Not ever. In the small midnight trysts that had been happening dangerously often, now. A kiss on the lips would leave a mark. Not on him, physically, but things like would leave an impression. And he didn't want to let the Sumeragi know that his little visitations were more than a dream. Why? Why indeed. Seishirou didn't want to think about it.

Pulling away from the Sumeragi, he was surprised to find slim fingers entwined with his shirt, holding him still. Frowning, he turned to face Subaru, who had a look of pure, frantic pain on his face.

"...Subaru-kun... let go...." Seishirou's voice was patient, and he took Subaru's fingers, attempting to prise them off. It didn't work. Subaru only held tighter.

"...If you're my dream, I want you to stay! Please, Seishirou-san....!" Subaru's voice was pleading, and he pulled the man closer, right onto his chest, holding him there with strength Seishirou hadn't imagined the willowy Sumeragi to possess.

"...Subaru-kun! Let go, I mean it!"

"No!" Subaru was pleading. yet angry. As Seishirou turned a practised eye on him, he saw, to his dismay, that the spell was almost completely finished. And, what with Subaru holding his shirt so tightly, he couldn't replace it. If Subaru got hurt, he might doubt that it was a dream, but Seishirou had no other options. If the Sumeragi found out it was real... well... it was unacceptable.

"...Subaru-kun! I said LET GO!" Grabbing at the Sumeragi's wrists, he pushed him away roughly, ignoring the small cry Subaru gave. Getting up, he swept away in a flurry of sakura petals. Too late, he realised that his harsh handling had cut the Sumeragi's arm. Seishirou cursed under his breath. The events of the night might have been explainable as a dream, but a cut... it would still be there when Subaru 'woke up'.

Damn. The one thing he hadn't wanted to happen. Or had he?

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_.:Lani:. ...Okay. I understand. Seishirou is majorly OOC in this fic... But it'll change! I swear! This is just a small insight! He'll become the emotionless bastard we all know and love by the first 'real' chapter!_

_.:Tree:. I don't know... this new Sakurazukamori is rather odd..._

_.:Lani:. I guess so... Hey! Wait! Sakura-san?? The hell are you doing in my fic????_

_.:Tree:. Complimenting you. Unlike them..._

_.:CLAMP:. ...Damn right. You mess up the characters with every fic you write..._

_.:Lani:. Oh... shut up. You don't know where I live!!! -Cackle-_

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	2. A New Day

_((Author's Notes - Okay, due to the update nagging (Which, quite frankly, surprised me. I started submitting my fics on the 25th of October, and have had eight reviews asking for more chapters....) I decided to churn out another one. -Yawn- I know, I know, i'm too good for you. Now, in this chapter, I'll start to instigate The Plot. Yesss... this story does actually have one...))  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own the Tree, Subaru or Seishirou. Or Tokyo Babylon, or X-1999. Actually, I don't own anything. The fishtank broke. So... pity me. Oh, wait...! I own the 425KB that my fics take up on my disc space!! Yay me!_  
  
A New Day  
  
Sitting back in the couch, taking a long drag from his cigarette, Seishirou tipped his head back and watched as the fax machine stuttered into life. New orders already? How irritating. The Sakurazukamori dropped the remnants of the cigarette into the ashtray, getting to his feet. Taking his time walking across the apartment to the fax machine, he stood beside it, waiting patiently for the machine to finish printing out whatever orders he had been sent.  
  
After a moment, the fax machine stopped whirring and two pages of paper sat on the in tray, the ink on the second one still glistening slightly. Lifting them, careful not to smudge the still-wet ink, Seishirou glanced over them absently for a moment.  
  
Standard 'search, prove, dispatch' mission. A man was suspected of murdering a goverment official. Seishirou didn't take the time to look at the name more than in passing, after all, it was none of his business. Oddly, the name of the suspect was not written in the place it normally was. Unusual.  
  
Shifting past the sheet to what should have been page one, he read the small paragraph at the top with interest. Unusual. Normally, his employers merely gave him the person he was supposed to kill, and the reason why. Not that the latter was of any importance to him. It was rare indeed to be given a short introduction.  
  
As his single, golden-amber eye skimmed the writing absently, he was left confused at the end. Re-reading, he found that he hadn't been wrong.  
  
_..Well, this should be interesting..  
  
'Yes, to you, maybe. Not to me.'  
  
..Are you going to do the job?..  
  
'Of course. I can't just disregard it because of one detail.'  
  
..Oh yes, you can. You've done it before. I know you too well, Seishirou-san..  
  
'Oh, be quiet, you. You're getting a meal. Shouldn't you be grateful?'  
  
..I should. And am. But I know this will be stressful for you, and I wouldn't like to loose my keeper, now would I?.._  
  
Seishirou rolled his eyes at the other side of this completely silent exchange, and he felt the Tree laugh at him. Which felt rather odd, to be honest, as the Tree didn't have a mouth to laugh at him with.  
  
"Well... I better start, I guess..." He said, decisively, and stood. Reaching in his pocket, he drew out a pack of cigarettes and drew one from it. Placing it between his lips, he lit it. For a moment, the sharp flare of the lighter lit up his face, and his eye turned onto the paper, which he had left on the sofa.  
  
For, printed on the end of the paragraph, in delicate kanji symbols was; 'Yougisha: Sumeragi Subaru'  
  
_((Random Author Insert: Translates to 'Suspect: Sumeragi Subaru' Come on! It's one word! Deal with it! Are are there so few Gaijins left in the world? Pah.))_  
  
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Meanwhile, on the other side of Tokyo...  
  
"Rin, Pyo, Tou, Sha, Kai, Chin, Letsu, Zai..." Sumeragi Subaru raised his head, pointing towards the entity with his fingers, hands set in prayer formation, "...Zen!" There was a soft scream as the spirit was blown back, in a powerful pulse of energy. The dregs of angry soul that had surrounded the young man's form dissipated, and a young man fell back onto the floor. Subaru advanced, his green eyes softening, and he knelt by the spectral entity, "...Are you alright...?"  
  
The man, no, the boy, was around sixteen, at a guess. Thick, dark hair fell down in messy waves, similar to that of a certain Seal. Framing his face. But, as the prone boy, a little small for his age, looked up, his eyes were bright green. Emeralds set in a face stained with tears.  
  
Subaru felt a tug at his compassionate heart.  
  
"...N-no... I'm not... I hate it. I hate it all..." The dead boy, the shinigami, sobbed pitifully on the floor of the small warehouse in which he and the Sumeragi were. The clothes the boy wore were new, it seemed, and he was obviously quite rich, in his life.  
  
"...What do you hate..?"  
  
"I hate everything! All of it... I wish it would all just die!! Especially him... he had no right to hurt me...!"  
  
Subaru frowned, kneeling over the boychild a little more, "...Who......?"  
  
The boy gave a slight sniffle, looking up at him, "....Kyouun-san..." The same reverence... the same honorific... the same guilty flicker of the eyes as the boy spoke that name. Seishirou-san... are you going to haunt me forever?  
  
Everything I do... it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where I go or what I do... you're going to follow me everywhere. I hate you...  
  
"...Who is this Kyouun...?"  
  
Another sniffle from the boy, and he sat up, hugging his knees and pressing his forehead onto them lightly, "...Magami Kyouun. He's... I mean... he was my.... my..." The boy struggled for words, but as he raised his eyes guiltily to Subaru's, their emerald's matching almost perfectly, Subaru already knew who Magami Kyouun was.  
  
"...Your lover?" Subaru understood that look, that tone of voice, only too well.  
  
"Y-yes... How did you-...?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. What happened?" It does matter...  
  
The boy cupped his arms around himself, even tighter, a fresh wave of sobs building up slightly, "...H-... He killed me....!! Right here in this building! Kyouun-san killed me!"  
  
Subaru winced, resisting the urge to get angry. ...He killed my sister... I know what it's like to be betrayed... "...Why?"  
  
"B-Because... He wanted me... he wanted me to...." Another choked sob, "...I would've! But... But he forced me...! I... I didn't want-...! He hurt me and I didn't want him to-....!"  
  
"Shh... shh..." The Sumeragi comforted the boy however he thought he could. Reaching out, he rested one pale, slender hand on the space where the boy's shoulder would be, smiling.  
  
Slowly, the boy looked up, "...Do you... have someone... that you love..?"  
  
"...Me? I... Well... Not really... I mean..." ..Seishirou-san... "...Yes."  
  
"..How would you feel... if they betrayed you?" The young shinigami kept his tearful eyes on Subaru's face, hiccuping slightly,  
  
"...He already has." Subaru's voice was cold, bitter almost. But somewhere, perhaps in an undertone, or perhaps not, there was something else. Something that wanted to say more, but the Sumeragi didn't know how.  
  
"How can you live...? When someone... that you care for so deeply... hurts you...? It... it hurts so bad.." The boy clutched at his chest, lowering his face, "...How can you go on living...?"  
  
Subaru's lips turned into a straight line, and his fist clenched. Fingers passed through the spirit of the boy, but neither of them noticed, "...I... I don't know..." Because having someone you love gives you a reason to live... "Because... I have a job to do, and I can't give it up, or... or everything would break up."  
  
The shinigami raised his head, "...Having someone you love gives you a reason to live." He said, perfectly clear and perfectly audible. In a lower tone, sounding ashamed, he added, "...I can read what people think... It's.... something... I learnt. Emotions... thoughts... even feelings, sometimes. They... they flow through me when people touch me."  
  
Subaru's green eyes misted over, "...What're your name?"  
  
"...I... I don't remember... it's been too long.... What's your name?"  
  
"...Sumeragi Subaru." A weak smile, and he looked up, "...I need to ask a favour of you."  
  
"...A.... favour?" The shinigami looked up with wide eyes, "...Aren't you going to send me away?"  
  
Subaru lowered his eyes and smiled, almost paternally, at the shinigami, "...I will. I promise I will, but I need a favour first. If that's okay, of course..." The plan was slowly starting to form, and Subaru already had an idea what he would do already.  
  
The boy seemed to realise already, and he gradually started smiling, "...His name is Sakurazuka Seishirou, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"...Then I'll go. And... you can call me Eikon." As the spirit seemed to dissipate, a small grain of light weaving it's way upwards, through a gap in the tin ceiling of the warehouse, Subaru couldn't help but smile. He would exorcist Eikon, and send him on, but this was favour he was in sore want of. The one person that could help him. This spirit. This... shinigami.  
  
And... after all... he was sure Seishirou wouldn't suspect him. And... even if he did.... Subaru almost wanted the Sakurazukamori to come looking for him, to confront him. He hadn't seem much of his lover/nemesis recently and... he missed him. A heartache of a missing him, that burned ferociously, and hurt him from the inside out.  
  
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_.:Lani:. What can I say? The Plot has been instigated. And... I stole Subaru's chant from Tokyo Babylon. So sue me. What did you guys think?  
  
.:Tree:. I finally got a speaking part...  
  
.:Lani:. -.-'' I wasn't talking to you...  
  
.:Seishirou:. If you're talking to me, I think you turned Subaru-kun into a scheming, plotting bastard.  
  
.:Lani:. Yup!  
  
.:Subaru:. ...And Seishirou-san is finally out of his OOC phase...  
  
.:Lani:. Yup!  
  
.:Seishirou:. ...Are you incapable of saying anything other than-...  
  
.:Lani:. YUP!  
  
.:Seishirou:. ...I give up.  
  
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